ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
