I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
