All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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