Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
