There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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