The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
