so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize