i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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