Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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