So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
