Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
