I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
