I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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