someone owes me an orgasm
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
