Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So much rum. So many feels.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
