Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

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(904): View more from Florida

the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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(216): View more from Ohio

the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything

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