Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
