Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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