sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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