I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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