I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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