I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize