I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
