:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
