White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
