Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
