I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
