our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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