4 words: hood of his car
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
