someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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