wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize