My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just google imaged poop.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
