yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
