Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
