she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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