If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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