just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
