There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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