Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
