idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
