I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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