I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
