its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
