:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize