ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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