People in love make me want to vomit
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
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Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
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