so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
