Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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