Where did you get a picture of my penis
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
