nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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