He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
