The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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