I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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