Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
