So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
