apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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