Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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